


The Guest

by unwillingadventurer



Category: Full House (UK) (1985)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:41:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26818969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwillingadventurer/pseuds/unwillingadventurer
Summary: Murray and Diana's old flatmate comes to stay the night.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	The Guest

**Author's Note:**

> Picturing Anthony Valentine as the character of Jason.

Paul burst into the living room where Murray was sitting, lounging on the sofa, eating a large bag of crisps. Crumbs covered his leather jacket, his jeans and the sofa.

“Murray, is this your writing?” Paul said, holding up a small piece of scrunched-up paper.

“Could be,” he said with a mouthful. “What is it?”

“It was on the fridge, under my Barcelona fridge magnet, next to my guest approval list.”

“That’s what you wanted me to do isn’t it? I wrote a guest on the list. You asked us to follow your weird little listy things. So, I followed the laundry list, I followed that bizarre toilet schedule and now I’ve started to write down when I want a guest to stay on that nutty guest approving list. What more do you want?”

“Well, yes, you have but you’re meant to wait for the others to agree to it, not write beneath it…’approved by Murray’.”

Laughing, Murray sat up. “Diana’s ok with it, Marsha is too, and you’ll be fine once you meet him. You’ll like Jason, he’s a top bloke.”

“He no doubt is, but who is he? I like to know who I’m going to be sharing a house with.”

Paul looked down, trying to ignore the crumbs, realising he’d only vacuumed the carpet an hour earlier.

“What, Jason? Diana and I met him years back. He’s a top guy. We shared a flat with him for a bit.”

Paul gasped. “You…shared with someone else?”

“Well yeah, nothing serious mind. It didn’t mean anything, Paul.”

“I need to sit down.” He looked down at the crumb filled sofa, “I need a chair, Murray.”

“Course. I’ll get that. You’ve come over all pale.” He grabbed a dining chair and helped Paul onto the seat. “What’s the matter, you come over all queer?”

“I just hadn’t realised you’d shared a home before. I thought Marsha and I were your…first.”

“Well, no, not exactly. If it helps, it was a lot smaller and we’ve lived here longer. He was a passing house guest. A real great bloke though.”

“So, you were close?”

Murray laughed. “You could say that, Paul. We had an understanding, me and Jason, if you know what I mean.” He chuckled and then winked.

Paul’s eyes widened. “The understanding is what I think you’re saying?”

“So, you understand? Those were fun days.”

Paul picked up a newspaper to use as a fan and started fanning himself. “Did Diana know about this?”

“Oh yeah, all above board.”

“So you told her?”

“Didn’t need to, she was there Paul.”

“Oh…you mean…you, Jason and…Diana? You used to…?”

Murray put another crisp in his mouth and crunched loudly. “Sure. Listen you’ll like Jason, he’s handsome, clever, charming and he cleans up after himself quite well. He’s a bit like you but cool and interesting.”

“Maybe I better run this past Marsha.”

“Diana’s already done that.”

“On what understanding?”

“Paul, he’s just stopping the night.”

Paul’s eyebrow rose. “Where?”

“With you and Marsha if you like.”

Throwing down the newspaper, Paul folded his arms. “For goodness sake, Murray!”

At that moment, Diana and Marsha came into the room carrying bags of shopping in their arms.

“Got loads of dinner supplies for Jason later,” Diana said cheerily.

“Oh god, you’re not cooking are you?” Murray said.

“No, just supervising. I know what Jason likes.” She grabbed one of Murray’s crisps and placed it into her mouth.

Paul sprung to his feet. “Uh…Marsha can I have a word with you in the kitchen? Let me take those bags for you Diana.”

Diana smiled. “Aww he’s such a gentleman.” She slapped Murray. “Murray why can’t you be more like Paul?”

Paul followed Marsha into the kitchen.

“What’s wrong now?” she said as she began to unpack the shopping.

Helping her, Paul picked up a courgette and held it to him without thinking. “I’ve heard about this Jason fellow.”

“I know, it’ll be nice to have a guest over.”

“Yes, but what kind of guest is he here as?”

“What sort? I don’t follow.”

Paul waved the courgette up and down. “You know…all that free love stuff. Did you know, Marsha, that we’re not Murray and Diana’s first?”

Biting her lip to stop a giggle, Marsha pushed the courgette away from her direction. “I’m afraid I do. But don’t worry they assure me we’re better. They don’t just move in with anyone you know?”

“What if this Jason takes a shine to you? I mean we’ve never had another person…with us. Would you have wanted to do that?”

She thought about it. “Maybe.”

“You mean us and Murray?” Paul shouted, dropping the courgette to the floor.

“No, no, I wasn’t thinking Murray, I was thinking Diana.”

“Diana?” Paul mouthed, no words coming out.

“Look, Paul,” she said, placing her arms around him. “I’m teasing. Jason is just an old friend of theirs stopping for one night. There’s nothing to get worked up over.”

“You’re right, of course you’re right. I’m being silly, aren’t I?” He placed his arms around her shoulders and then kissed her.

….

“He’s here!” Diana squeaked the next night as the doorbell rang. She quickly adjusted her tumbling blonde curls in the mirror.

Paul answered the door with the other three standing behind him, grinning. When the door opened, Jason stood in the entrance with his arm on the frame, dressed in a blazer, vest and some tight-fitting jeans. His greying hair was highlighted with blond and he had an earring in one ear. He smiled widely.

“You must be Jason?” Paul shook the man’s hand.

“Yes indeed. And you must be the famous Paul.”

Showing him inside, there were hugs and kisses all around as Jason embraced the other three in turn.

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” Jason said as they entered the living room. “Just like old times eh Murray? Say, fantastic place you have here!”

Paul leaned over to Marsha. “He looks like an older George Michael with that hair.”

“I know, isn’t he handsome?”

“Well…yes…”

…

After an evening of dinner and lively conversation which even Paul admitted he enjoyed, he relished in the chance for some sleep but first made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He stood wearily at the mirror, picked up his red toothbrush and then reached for the paste. He was just about to apply it when he saw someone through the mirror.

“Hello there, Paul,” said the charming deep voice.

Paul dropped the toothbrush and paste into the sink and spun around to find that Jason was submerged in the bath which was full of bubbles, fortunately covering what Paul was afraid to see.

“I’m dreadfully sorry, Jason, didn’t realise you were in here naked, I mean in the bath.”

“Not to worry. We’re all friends here. Marsha said I could take a soak.” He patted the side of the bath tub. “Say, we didn’t get much of a chance to talk at dinner, you know, just us. Come join me?”

Paul smiled and awkwardly sat on the edge of the bath, realising his pyjamas were becoming wet from the bath water. But once he had sat, he was too polite to move or do otherwise.

“Call me Jay. Murray’s told me all about you.”

“Has he?”

“Don’t worry, I don’t listen to most of it, besides I think he complains too much about you if you know what I mean.”

Paul’s eyes darted around. He had no idea what Jason meant but nodded as though he did. 

“You’ve got a sweet deal here, Paul with those beautiful specimens Murray, Diana and Marsha. And now you, the most beautiful of all. It was never quite like that when I lived with them. I was always a little left out but you four are so close. I don’t think Murray and I have what you two have.”

Paul tried to speak but couldn’t find the words. What exactly did he and Murray have? Was he missing something?

“You seem a special kind of guy, Paul.”

“Well what about you, what have you been up to since Diana and Murray? I mean…not with…I mean, life in general?”

“I used to sing in clubs but these days would you believe I’m in accounting? There’s something about numbers and columns that sends shivers down my spine.”

Paul sat up with interest. “I say, that is interesting. The others laugh at my need to compile everything into a list.”

“Heathens! Nothing turns me on more than a well written list, Paul.”

“Really?” Paul smiled shyly.

…

In the kitchen the next morning, Diana and Marsha were up early finishing their breakfast and laughing as they cleared away their bowls.

“Paul’s really startled by this business with you, Murray and Jason sharing a flat,” said Marsha.

Diana laughed. “I know, I saw him last night. He looked like a startled rabbit the entire time. Oh we didn’t mean to, Marsha, but Murray and I did have some fun with him.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well I touched Jason’s knee and then Murray did and Jason reciprocated. Paul’s face was a picture!”

“Oh Diana, we shouldn’t laugh. Paul is my husband.”

They started to laugh harder, only stopping when Murray and Jason entered the kitchen where they wished the men a good morning.

“Right, well,” Marsha said, trying not to laugh again. “Diana and I are off clothes shopping. We’ll leave you to your breakfast. Tell Paul we’ll be back later. Where is he anyway? It’s not like him to not be down at seven-thirty on the dot.”

“Think he was shaving, had trouble sleeping I think,” Murray said.

Diana kissed his head and the women left Murray and Jason alone.

“Think I had too much to drink last night,” Murray said, rubbing his head.

“Know what you mean. Not as young as we were. Paul!” Jason’s smile widened as an immaculate looking Paul entered the kitchen. 

“Sorry for being late for breakfast, I was tossing and turning all night.” He looked around the kitchen. “Where’s the girls?”

Murray was now speaking through a mouthful of cornflakes. “Shopping.”

“Ah I see.” Paul sat down in between the two men who were still in various states of undress.

“Did you sleep alright, Jason?”

Jason’s hand tapped Paul’s gently. “I told you precious, call me Jay, and thank you, I slept like a log.”

“Alone?” Paul looked at Murray and then down guiltily at his lap, hoping he hadn’t spoken out of turn.

“Yes, quite all alone, sadly,” Jason said, grinning at them and eying Paul up and down with a curious eye.

“But you had a nice bath, I could see that last night,” Paul said.

“Hold on, who had a nice bath?”” Murray grinned. “How do you know he did, Paul?”

“I was there with him…well, I mean I wasn’t there in the actual bath but I bumped into Jay in the bathroom last night.”

“Bumped into eh?” Murray sipped his tea. “Not what we called it in our day.”

“A nice talk we had,” Paul said.

“It was. Did you know, Murray, that Paul and I both have the same chore rotation list?”

Murray sighed. “You never used to be quite that bad, Jay, what happened?”

Jason smiled his impressive set of teeth and ran his hand through his thick hair. “Always was Muzza, you just never cared to see it. You and Paul have been here much longer, you’ve learnt to appreciate him the way he is.”

Murray folded his arms. “Yeah right.”

Jason looked Paul over once more. “Paul and I have quite the connection. You look tense Paul, care for a massage?”

“I am a bit tight.”

Murray snorted as Jason stood up and tended to Paul where he rubbed away, easing the tension around his shoulders and neck. “How’s that?”

Paul’s eyes were closed. “Heaven. You were right about Jason, Murray, he’s an excellent houseguest.”

Murray threw down his spoon. ”Alright, I get it, don’t rub it in, literally or otherwise.” He got up and stomped out of the room.

“What’s the matter with him?” Paul said.

“House sharing is a complicated business, Paul. Emotions get the better of all of us.”

“Everything I do seems to annoy Murray.”

“It was the same with me. He’s all nostalgic now but he forgets that every time I used to break into song it drove him crazy. He especially didn’t like it when I made up songs about household objects.” He grabbed a carton of orange juice and began to sing in the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody. “I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me. I see a little carton of juice.”

“That’s very funny,” Paul said. “Can’t imagine anyone not finding that charming.”

“Still, Murray’s pride is hurt and he’s bruised by you, Paul, albeit unintentionally. Go to him. I promise I’ll not get in the way.”

“You’re right. I’ll see if he’s alright.”

Paul left Jason at the table and found Murray laying down on the sofa, his face buried in one of the cushions. “Murray?” He sat down on the arm of the sofa which usually went against his normal sitting code. “You alright?”

“Oh it’s you!” came the muffled reply. “Thought you were in the kitchen being touched by your better housemate.”

“No, just a friendly massage.”

“I had him first, Paul.”

“Didn’t know that mattered. Why are you so upset, this was your idea?”

Murray sat up, his hair a mess. “I thought we had something good here Paul.”

“We do.”

“Then why am I not allowed to brush my teeth while you’re taking a bath? You’re different around him. I’m not sure I like who you’ve become.”

Paul frowned. “I’m the same man, Murray. The same man who drives you mad.”

At that moment, Jason entered. “Sorry to interrupt but I see I’ve caused tension. Honestly, I never intended to drive a wedge between you. I know I’m attractive, that’s a burden I carry. I know you both want me terribly but I think it’s best if we admit what’s really happening here.”

Murray and Paul exchanged confused glances.

“Which is?” they said together.

“Your feelings for each other.”

“That’s right,” Murray began, folding his arms. “Our feelings…hold on, what?”

Paul was about to speak when instead Jason placed his finger over Paul’s lip and hushed him.

“No, let me speak, dear, sweet, beautiful Paul. I’m attracted to you, I’ll admit that. What man doesn’t like a man who compiles lists the way you do? But we must stop our yearnings and think of Murray. He’s not got the gifts we have but you two have built something here, something I can’t have, something those gorgeous girls can’t even compete with. Hold on to that special bond, boys and never let go.” He sighed dramatically, took each of their hands, squeezed them and then joined Murray and Paul’s hands together. He kissed the tops of their heads. “Goodbye beautiful ones.”

“Goodbye?” said Murray, confused.

Blowing a kiss, Jason smiled and then left.

Paul and Murray stood awkwardly, wondering what had just taken place. Silence passed for several moments. Eventually they let go of each other’s hands.

“Was he for real?” Murray finally said, breaking the unbearable silence. “Feelings. Pfft.”

Paul laughed nervously, thrusting his hands into his jean pockets. “What a weekend! What a man!”

They looked at each other awkwardly again.

“Probably best we don’t tell the girls about this,” Murray said.

“Not that there’s anything to tell,” Paul added nervously.

“But you do think I’m a better house-mate, right?”

“Oh, the best I’ve ever had.”


End file.
